I am Jack's Alcohol Problem, by Scott McHugh, 16, Hanover, Mass.

2003 Second Place Winner
Alcohol Awareness Contest
“What’s Your Message?”

Sponsored by: Massachusetts Medical Society and the Massachusetts Interscholastic Athletic Association

Scott McHugh, 16, Hanover, Mass.
Sophomore, Hanover High School

I am Jack’s Alcohol Problem

I am Jack’s Alcohol Problem. I cause Jack to drink alcohol at any chance he can get. I am responsible for all of the foolish things that Jack may do. When Jack goes to a party, I tell him to drink as may beers as humanly possible. When he is drunk, I tell him to carry on normally, and to not take any safety precautions. When Jack is depressed, I tell him to get wasted, and it all works out, because he actually thinks that it will make him feel better.

Because of me, Jack will drive around after having six beers, convinced that it’s not enough to get drunk. Of course I know that he’s really drunk, but hey, he’s not my problem, I’m his. I told Jack to get a fake ID so he could illegally buy more alcohol and get drunk even more. At parties, I help Jack think that he is funny and charming, but he really just stutters and stumbles around, because he is on a buzz from the beer that he illegally bought. I love helping Jack.

I live inside of Jack’s head. If at any point he is uncertain as to what he should do regarding alcohol consumption, I always tell him that he should drink, and throw caution to the wind. After all, you only live once. Even though there is a huge risk involved with binge drinking, and drinking in general, I of all people would never tell that to Jack. My only job is to tell Jack to drink and drink and drink, after all, I am a problem.

When Jack and I are at a big party, we often see many people that Jack goes to school or work with. Sometimes we notice Jill, she also has an alcohol problem. When Jack and Jill get drunk enough, sometimes they make poor decisions together. But of course I would never tell Jack not to take advantage of Jill. It’s not that big of a deal, its only drinking, after all.

Sometimes Jack makes me sad. He often takes me to AA meetings and tries to kill me! Can you believe it? He actually wants to get rid of me! I don’t understand! Sure there is a certain risk with drinking, but we are still alive, no one has been hurt. No harm done. I thought we were having fun, always going to parties, and the occasional drunken joy ride. I just can’t understand why he would try to ditch me like that.

Actually, the sad truth is; I will eventually grow bored of living in Jack. I mean, I can only be his problem for so long. Sooner or later I will have to convince Jack to drink the most beer that he’s ever had in his life. This will, hopefully, cause him to die, so I can move on to a younger, fresher, up and coming alcoholic. Then I can repeat the cycle all over again!

And, if you’re lucky, maybe I’ll stay with you until adulthood. If you get married, I can help you neglect your spouse and kids. After all, you don’t need them. All you need is alcohol.

I am Jack’s Alcohol Problem.

© 2003 Massachusetts Medical Society